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\fancyfoot[l]{\small David Fifield\qquad david@bamsoftware.com\qquad March 6, 2009}

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\section*{\huge Listening to Learn}

\noindent
\large
Why is listening a key skill of leadership? There are two main reasons:
\begin{itemize}
\item[] Listening is how we connect with other people.
\item[] Listening enables us to make decisions and solve problems.
\end{itemize}

\noindent
\large
Effective listening is \emph{active} and \emph{empathetic}.

\smallskip

\emph{Active listening} is

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\emph{Empathetic listening} is

\vskip 0.75in

What listening techniques did the Scout leader use in the role-play with
the unhappy Scout?

\vfill

When listening in an adversarial situation, remember that the way you
listen will shape the conversation. Acknowledge complaints to show that
you are listening (``I see. I got it.'') but do not immediately judge
them; enabling the speaker can make the complaints seem larger than they
are. Seek to turn a negative situation into a positive one: ``I hear
what you don't want. Now tell me what you \emph{do} want.''

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\noindent
\large
How does it feel to get feedback or advice? It can be uncomfortable,
even when the feedback is positive. When have you had to give
feedback---positive or negative? Was the other person receptive to what
you had to say? These tips are from the Wood Badge Staff Guide.

\subsection*{Tips on giving feedback}

\begin{enumerate}
\itemsep 0pt
\item Consider your motives. Is the feedback helpful?
\item Be sure the other person is willing to accept feedback (using the
skills of effective listening).
\item Deal only with behavior that can be changed.
\item Be specific.
\item Describe the behavior, don't evaluate it.
\item State how the behavior affects you.
\item Take responsibility for your own perceptions---use ``I''.
\item Be sure you are understood.
\end{enumerate}

\subsection*{Tips on receiving feedback}

\begin{enumerate}
\itemsep 0pt
\item Seek out feedback. People are willing to share what they think if
you ask.
\item Listen carefully. Feedback tends to involve the emotions and it's
easy to misinterpret something.
\item Listen actively. Restate the feedback in your own words.
\item Listen empathetically. Understand the speaker's reasons for
offering feedback.
\item Be aware of your feelings. Don't become angry or defensive but
take it for what it is: a gift.
\end{enumerate}

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